Mama Bragging Moment

We all know I'm not shy about bragging about my kids and my husband, but I am really going to brag now.  

My perfectly gorgeous baby girl won a "Model Search" for a boutique clothing designer.  When I opened my Facebook and had a message from Carole at Nana Peaches Baby letting me know Peyton had won her model search contest, I was so excited.  If you know me, you know I am definitely not a "Toddlers and Tiaras" kind of mom, but I figured what the heck it was a simple submit your picture to our Facebook page kind of contest. As I was communicating back and forth with Carole, she emailed me asking if in addition to her gift certificate she also gave her a pink and white chevron day gown, would we be interested in having photos taken of her wearing it and allow them to be used on their website.  It didn't take me long to think about that one.  I love the dress she was referring to and we have an amazing photographer in my dear friend Shannon Mae.  I, of course, think my babies are absolutely gorgeous, but to know that someone wants to use my little pumpkin on their website just tickles me. 

This is the photo we submitted.  

I mean really, I think it was a no brainer!

This little girl melts my heart over and over again, day in and day out.  Her smile is infectious, her eyes sparkle and she's quickly gone from my almost 6lb newborn to an 11lb baby with loads of personality.  I can't imagine a life without her or her brother (who I'll have to feature in my next post!).  We recently had to take the hammock/sling out of their bath tub (they've sadly outgrown it already) and her first bath without it was so adorable! Note to self: never leave my phone in the kitchen during bath time now!  This was her first experience with sitting directly in the water with her hands and feet free to splash.  Her first little kick and splash startled her for a brief moment, but after that she couldn't contain herself! She wiggled, kicked and squealed with excitement.  I sat there and just watched, thanking God (and Dr. Hesla) for the precious gifts he has given us.

What perfection looks like through my eyes!

I'll have to do a freezer meal update in the near future.  So far, I think all the recipes I've tried have actually been a success!  Guess it's time to start keeping track of the recipes, photographing them and sharing them with you!  But for now, I've got ribs on the smoker and babies waking up, so that will have to wait until next time!  Happy Saturday!

Mom's Weekend Away

I made the mistake of going to the Oregon Jamboree this past weekend and not taking my camera.  I'm not going to lie, it's probably a good thing I didn't have it with me Friday or Saturday, as I'm sure I would have lost it, but as we sat a mere thirty rows back from Luke Bryan on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon, I was so sad to not have it along with my zoom lens.  Let me tell you, the weather wasn't the only HOT thing that afternoon!  I had my trusty iPhone with me, but it's just not the same! 

I'm definitely not a fan of skinny jeans, especially on guys, but WOW!

If you aren't familiar with the Oregon Jamboree, it's an amazing three day weekend full of great country music in Sweet Home.  This was my first year going, but it definitely won't be my last.  While there are some things I might have done a little different (like actually sit in the seats we paid for, for more than two shows), there's not a moment I'd give up to do it differently.  I met some great people that I can now call new friends, listened to some incredible music and came home with a great tan (for the most part).

This was my first time ever leaving my babies for more than a quick run into town to the farmers market or grocery store and I handled it pretty well, but when Jamie mentioned we could head home a night early, there was no complaint from this mama!  We broke down camp before hitting the final show of the weekend (The above mentioned Luke Bryan) and high tailed it home to surprise my hubby.  I held no expectations of what shape the house was going to be in given this was his first time experiencing the role of "Stay at Home Dad", but I should have known he was going to deliver and in a big way.  Not only were the babies tucked in but the house was clean and the laundry and dishes were all done.  

Now I've said it before, but my goodness, I am a lucky girl.  I don't know many husbands that would insist on their wife taking off for a girls weekend of camping, beer and country music, let alone stay home with their three month old twins in the process but that's exactly what Jake did and it's just another one of the many, many reasons I love him and am so incredibly thankful for him and the love that we have for each other.  Everyone should be able to experience true happiness and the unconditional love of a significant other.  I could go on and on all day about what an amazing man, husband and father he is but I'll spare you the mushy stuff.

In short, this past weekend was an epic adventure and I can't wait to do it again next year, but I was so ready to come home to Jake and my little pumpkins.  For now, it's time to let my liver recover, the few sun burnt spots mellow out and get back on track with eating properly (as I just took fresh, from scratch brownies out of the oven, shhhh... don't tell. I swear they are a thank you for Jake).

A big thank you also goes out to my best friend, Nicole, for watching these

 two on Friday while Jake was at work. I was able to leave town

knowing they were in amazing hands.

Happy Monday everyone! Hope ya'll have a great week!

Finding the Time

Trying to find the time to work on "projects" is seemingly impossible these days!  There's all these wonderful things that I want to do and I swear as soon as I pull out all my scrap-booking stuff or get all the gardening tools out, the babies wake up.  Although I can't seem to find the time to work on these things, I am wanting to add more things to that list of things to do.  After losing my grandfather a couple weeks ago, I was reminded that I need to not only break the camera out more often, but I also want to dive into some of the history of our family through food.  How fun would it be to create a family cookbook, complete with photos of the prep and finished products.  Years ago I took some of these recipes and just printed them out on computer paper and threw them into a binder.  I now want to take it a step further with more detail, organization and photos.  I want something that I can break out and share with Peyton and Lukas as they are growing up and helping me in the kitchen.

It amazes me that they are already 9 weeks old! They are definitely developing personalities and are beginning to be awake and more alert during the day (hence the lack of time to work on anything). They now smile at us and Lukas has even chuckled at his Meema (my mom). 

We spent four days back in California with my family for my grandpa's funeral.  I stood at the sink in my dads kitchen on a sunny Saturday afternoon and couldn't help but smile.  I watched my mom & step dad laughing with my brother and his girlfriend, my dad snuggling two of his grand babies and my grandma cuddling with Lukas.  It made me want to move home more than ever.  I want my kids to grow up with their cousins like I did.  I know realistically it's not really an option, but perhaps being a 5 hour drive instead of a 10 hour drive is in the future.  For the time being though, I am so thankful for FaceTime!  It allows us to feel like we aren't as far away as we really are.

Here is a picture of my nephew Tosh with the twins!

Wednesdays...

Five weeks have passed since we said good-bye to my grandfather.  My family surrounded him, telling stories through tears and laughter, the day wore on, clouds took over the sky and about two hours before we said our final good-byes, the sun broke through just outside the hospital room window.  One would think that as the weeks have gone by, it would have become easier to cope with the loss of this incredible man, but I feel as if it's gotten harder.  I may not have seen him more than a couple times a year, but just knowing I'll never hear him tell another story (like he was in this photo) tears me apart.

On a much happier note, it was eleven weeks ago that we welcomed the twins into the world!  In fact, at this very moment I should have been making my way into the O.R. but instead we were being told we were going to have to wait!  I absolutely cannot believe they are already almost three months old!  In the past month, I've seen them start to develop personalities.  Lukas is definitely a mama's boy and Peyton is daddy's little princess.  But the way they both smile at us, there's no denying that they are our everything!  Two and a half weeks ago while we were in California, we heard Lukas chuckle for the first time.  This morning while I was laying in bed tickling Peyton, she let out a joyful screech accompanied with the biggest smile.  These are moments that I will cherish forever.  In three short months, they have changed my life in so many ways.

It's so funny to think of the things I used to take for granted.  The biggest one? Time!  Being a "housewife" for the past two years, I took my time to do pretty much everything.  I would dilly-dally every morning, putting off the laundry or dishes knowing I could do them later that day.  Or watch some dreadful morning game show and a rerun of The Real Housewives of Orange County before getting in the shower.  Now, time is a luxury that I don't have.  Now, if I'm awake at 7:00 and everyone is asleep, I quietly slip out of bed to take a shower without feeling like I have to rush through it.  When they both decide to take a nap at the same time, I race to start the next load of laundry, put away the clothes that have piled up in their crib (yes, she still sleeps with us and he is right next to us in the co-sleeper) and plan what we will have for dinner. 

Let's just say moments like this one pictured below, are few and far between now:

 Boy we really need some new tile in our bathroom!

I think I can honestly say, eleven weeks in, that I have a pretty good grasp on this new life.  I even took the time on Sunday morning to prepare a dozen freezer meals! Can we say officially a mom!?!?  I have become quite the fan of "The Pioneer Woman" Ree Drummond.  After watching one of her episodes on Food Network this past weekend, I decided I really could do more cooking and save us a whole lot of money.  I even made myself a gallon of iced coffee to keep in the fridge instead of going to Starbucks every morning!  While it's not 100% the same taste, it only cost me $5 to make a gallon.  Compare that to the $4 a day and well, it's not hard to do the math on that one!

This is a picture of our counter top Sunday morning during my first adventure into freezer meals! Note the iPad (Thank you Pinterest for some of the recipes) to the left and the last Starbucks I bought myself front and center!  I'm sure there's a much more organized way to go about this, but I'll have to figure that out next time!

I'm also trying to find the time to do a family cookbook.  Sure it would be easy just to type out recipes and put them in a binder but I'm actually going to attempt to make each recipe and photograph it before adding it to the book.  Hopefully it'll be done before Christmas!

Nap time is over! Happy Hump Day!

Peaceful

You would think being a first time mom with twins would make life a whole lot more chaotic and crazy, but for some reason I find my life more peaceful now.  I'm really not sure why this is.  Perhaps it's the fact that I now have much different priorities.  I don't think much about pleasing people outside of my own family anymore.  I spent so much time in the past trying to make sure everyone liked me, but really that is the last thing on my mind anymore.  I am so incredibly content sitting in my recliner, watching my precious angels swing peacefully while listening to (I can't believe I'm about to admit this) the "Beautiful Instrumentals" channel on my TV.  Dinner is already prepared and just waiting to go in the oven, there's fresh baked cookies waiting for Jake to walk through the door and while the laundry may not all be done, I feel as if today was another victory in my new life as a "Stay At Home Mom and Housewife."

I find comfort in knowing that through thick or thin (literally) my husband is wild about me and insanely devoted to our family.  Watching him hurt just as bad as I did yesterday while seeing our babies miserable during and after their first set of shots, made me fall even deeper in love with him.  There are multiple times throughout the day that I find myself just staring at one of twins and wonder how in the world did we create such amazing, gorgeous and perfect little creatures.  They truly are a dream come true and a prayer I really was beginning to think was never going to be answered.  Even after having a very rough afternoon after their shots, Lukas woke up from a five hour nap and smiled, cooed and chuckled for over an hour.  It's those moments that I look forward to every day when I wake up in the morning.  Now don't get me wrong, there are also times throughout the day that I think to myself that I can't handle it, but we've made it 10 weeks so far and at this point, I think I'm doing a pretty damn good job!

At this moment in time, I can honestly say that other than desperately wanting to move closer to home, my life is everything I could ask for!

Adapting to the "Stay At Home Mom" Role

As a warm summer breeze comes through the living room window, I can't help to feel so incredibly blessed.  I not only have one, but two, absolutely gorgeous babies napping peacefully in front of me.  After waiting almost thirteen years for our prayers to be answered, I still have moments where I can't believe I'm actually a mom to twins.  About five years ago I had a dream that I was walking through town holding hands with boy/girl twins.  At the time, I thought I'd be lucky if even half of that dream came true!  What are the chances that we'd not only have twins, but that we would be blessed with one of each!!

Sure I have my moments where I think "What in the hell were we thinking having two?", but that usually only happens at 3:00am when they are both screaming and won't go back to sleep or when they both have an evening meltdown about 15 minutes before their daddy should be home from work.  However, the pure joy that they bring me far outweighs the overwhelming stress of those meltdowns.

Growing up in California, I never imagined being able to be a "Stay at Home Mom."  My mom worked full time and still found enough hours in the day to cook, clean and make it to every volleyball, basketball and softball game.  I watched her do it, so I figured when the time came, that's what I would do.  I have got to tell you, I have a new found respect for moms that work forty hours a week and still find the time to be a full time mom as well! Every time I find myself wanting to bitch about not getting an extra load of laundry done, I just remind myself that I'm lucky I was able to wash a load in the middle of the day and not at 11:00 at night.

I've always been a people person and for the first six years of living in Oregon, I worked as a barista so I was constantly around people.  I think that is what has been the hardest thing for me to adapt to now as a mom.  My priorities are different.  I used to be able to plan on going to lunch with my girlfriends at noon and I knew if I started to get ready at eleven, I could still make the twenty minute drive into town with no problem.  Now, on the rare, maybe once a week occasion where I drag the two car seats and stroller into town to enjoy some adult time, I have to start getting ready to go two hours earlier.  And that's IF I was able to get a shower before my husband left for work.  I've had to miss graduation parties because one of the babies hadn't pooped for days and had a clogged tear duct, I've pretty much been late to every appointment (I used to always be at least ten minutes early) and I forget what it feels like to sleep for eight uninterrupted hours. And while I could sit here and think about all the things I'm missing, I find myself so incredibly at peace with this new life and wouldn't change it for the world!!

Forever and Ever, Amen

When you hear that a loved one has a terminal disease, it hits you like a ton of bricks.  But then the doctors say some people have lived with this rare form of Lymphoma for as long as 7 years so you become overly optimistic and think that your loved one with be included in those studies.

My grandpa has always been a strong man.  A mans man.  So when our family heard last fall that he had this rare form of Lymphoma, it hit us all like a runaway Mack truck.  Our family flocked to be by his side for Thanksgiving.  We all sat around the holiday turkey and ham and prayed.  We prayed for him to beat the odds and live to see many more Thanksgivings.  As the evening wore on, I sat down next to this incredible man and made him promise me one thing, that he would live to see the twins I was carrying.  He looked me in the face, squeezed my hand and said he would.

Months passed and it appeared that the chemo was working and while he had his rough days, he remained positive.  At one point the doctor even told him he could have a glass or two of red wine on non-chemo weeks.  I found myself reflecting on my childhood with grandpa. 

My earliest memory is of a stuffed Koala Bear that he bought me at a flea market.  I'm not sure why this one stuffed animal sticks out so vividly in my mind, but I remember kissing it's hard plastic nose and hugging it tight as we walked back to the truck that day.  Then there was Christmas.  Year after year, I remember him walking around their house with a large black garbage bag threatening to throw away any toys that were left laying around.  Most would think he was kidding, he wasn't! 

We spent countless hours fishing together.  I would climb into the back of his Ford Bronco II and head to the lake when I was a little girl. In my early teens, we would venture out to the "Marijuana Hole" together to fish one of the best spots on the river.  Back then I wasn't that into fishing, but it was more about spending the quality time with him.  I think he knew that I had it in me to hang with the guys when it came to a line and reel.  Years later, he was with me when I caught my first Salmon on the Trinity River in my twenties and he was there when I pulled up my first crab pot on the Coquille River.  He instilled a love for the outdoors in me that I will never be able to thank him enough for.

He taught me that love can stand the test of time.  He had a bollo tie hanging from the rear view mirror of that Bronco.  On that tie were the Snap, Crackle and Pop elves from the Rice Krispy box.  There was a story about him having one very similar to that when grandma and he were dating and I believe sometime in the 70s she was able to find him another one.  I watched those little elves sway back and forth while singing along to Harry Belafonte on our way to Trinity countless times.  If he caught me slacking and not singing along, he would rewind the song.  Then we would listen to Randy Travis' "Forever and Ever, Amen."  Listening to that song with my grandparents in the front seat, showed me that you can find your happily ever after.  From early on, whether he knew it or not, he had showed me that I would find that one special one to grow old with just like he had back when he was 15 years old.

The day I got married, he presented me and my husband two custom fishing poles, also known in our family as Razz Rods.  On those hand wrapped rods, one read "Forever" and the other, "And Ever, Amen."  That night, June 15, 2002, we danced to The Judds' song "Grandpa".  That day was an amazing day, but dancing with that man is one of my fondest memories from that night.

As I held his hand during his final days, all these memories came flooding back to me.  Here was a man that raised four boys, watched over a dozen grand kids grow up and even lived to meet 10 great grand children.  I sat there 48 hours before he passed with my twins, that we had all waited so long for and he just told me over and over again how amazing and beautiful they were.  The day he passed he opened his eyes and saw my precious little girl sitting on his bed. he then reached out for her and held her hand.  At that moment, he didn't have to say a word.  I knew he was thinking back to the day I was born and he had lived to see me not only have a beautiful little boy, but also a gorgeous little girl.  That night, as he took his final breath, he was surrounded by most of his family and he was able to move into his new life knowing he was and always will be loved by many.  Rest in peace grandpa.  I love you, forever and ever, Amen.