25 Weeks and Counting

Wow! It seems like it was just yesterday that we were walking into Oregon Reproductive Medicine to have two perfect, 5 day old embryos transferred.  It took me the longest time to actually accept the fact that our dream was coming true and to fully believe that I am pregnant.

Now there's no denying the fact.  I took this picture this morning on my way out of the house.  It is so crazy to me that I only have a max of 14 weeks left before we are holding two perfect miracles that we have waited oh so long for!  One doctor is telling me 36 weeks and the other is saying a max of 39 weeks.  Either way, 14 weeks doesn't seem so far away and the possibility of 11 weeks is mind boggling!

I picked up some items today in an attempt to be "crafty".  I'm going to attempt to make my own cupcake stands to use at my shower.  As I've mentioned before, I have a bit of an obsession with Pinterest.  I had previously made a vow to stop just pinning and start actually doing (that lasted about a week).  But now, with just weeks to go before my life will be totally consumed by feedings, diapers and crying (times two), I figured I better get off my butt and do some of the things I've been wanting to do.  So this afternoon I will attempt to turn plates and candlestick holders I found at Goodwill, into cup cake stands! As long as they turn out, I'll post pictures tomorrow!!  Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend and does something fun!!

Continued Support

Words really cannot describe the fear and anxiety one feels after hearing there's a possibility something is wrong with their unborn child.  That is what we went through last week.  After my 20 week ultrasound, I never imagined that the report would come back with anything other than perfect results.  While meeting with our doctor last Friday (four weeks after the level 2 ultrasound), he informed us that our baby girl had a 2 vessel umbilical cord vs. the normal 3 vessel.  While he didn't seem too concerned about it, he referred us to a perinatologist for a follow up level 2 ultrasound.

I of course, came home and instantly started searching google to find out exactly what that meant.  After reading countless medical websites, I had come to realize this meant baby Peyton could have a series of possible problems or a 75% chance of being absolutely fine.  After everything we have gone through to get to this point, I was terrified that further testing would reveal something was wrong with my precious miracle.  I spent the next five days searching the internet, reading personal blogs and community boards about the 2 vessel umbilical cord, also known as a Single Umbilical Artery.  My husband, being the rock that he is, continued to reassure me that our little girl was going to be perfect, but I couldn't stop worrying.

Fast forward to my appointment with the specialist this week.  After the sonographer, spent an hour and a half taking countless pictures of both of our babies, she told me the doctor would be in shortly to review the results and left the room.  After sitting there waiting for a half hour, I had convinced myself everything was fine.  The doctor then came in and started asking if either of our families had a history of major medical problems or if we had done the genetic testing in the first trimester.  I explained to her that both of our families were pretty healthy and that we had opted to not do the genetic testing in the first trimester because there really wasn't anything that would change our minds on having these babies.  While discussing this, I of course started freaking out wondering why she was asking these questions.  That is when she told me she wanted to run her own ultrasound to confirm some findings.  Enter severe anxiety!  My fears would soon be put to rest though after telling me that she was able to see a part of Peyton's heart that the sonographer wasn't able to capture a picture of.  She then proceeded to tell me that both of their hearts and kidneys looked great and she didn't see anything to cause any kind of concern.  (Thank the Lord!).  We then discussed the possibility of minor abnormalities because of the 2 vessel cord, but those wouldn't be anything that would be life threatening or alter our baby girls life.  We will monitor her closely over the next 12 weeks to make sure she continues to grow at close to the same rate as her brother.

In the mean time, I continue to count down the weeks until I am holding these two precious miracles!  I can tell you, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank God (and our IVF specialist) for this gift.  The crib they will share for the first few months has been built and is sitting in our room awaiting their arrival!  Thank you to everyone that has continued to support us!

23 Weeks and Counting...

I didn't realize that I hadn't posted anything since receiving the phone call that would forever change our lives!  As many of you reading this already know, we are expecting twins this spring!  I've spent the last 4 and 1/2 months trying to wrap my head around the fact that our biggest wish and greatest desire is coming true.

I've had what I can only imagine is a very "easy" pregnancy so far.  I didn't experience the dreaded morning sickness and I haven't had outrageous cravings (other than the occasional maple bar).  I think this has lead me to, at times, not fully allow myself to believe that this is really happening!  After wanting something SO badly and for SO long, and then finally hearing it was coming true, I've had a very hard time believing it was really happening.  I had gotten to a place where I stopped believing in the power of prayer and positive thinking, began to question my faith and quite honestly, had all but given up on this dream.  For the first trimester, I continued to convince myself that something was wrong between each and every doctors appointment.  Now, as my belly is getting bigger (every day I swear), not sleeping at night from the pain in my hips and experiencing both of these little miracles kick, I think I've finally realized that this is not a dream.  Nobody is going to pinch me to wake me up from this dream!

Our twins (Peyton Margaret and Lukas Wendell), are due in May and I've already started counting down the weeks until we get to hold them, cuddle them and frankly, spoil the heck out of them!  My Pinterest pins have been taken over with cute baby shower ideas, items I think I need (which I'm sure most of them I won't) and my closet is already starting to fill up with items that I just couldn't pass up on!  Usually by this time of year, I'm counting down the weeks or days to our annual trip to Mexico. But that has been placed on the back burner for much bigger and exciting things this year!!  I've been sitting here for days trying to figure out how to transition this blog from a blog that was full of so much sadness and let down, to a happier place and what in the world would I write about now!  So, I hope you will all follow me on this journey from a broken and lost woman that couldn't conceive to a woman that is about to have her biggest wish granted.  I know this next chapter is going to be far from easy, but I'm ready for it!

Dreams Do Come True!

I can't believe it! After several years of crying at birth announcements, bailing out of baby showers and feeling like I was broken, we finally got the phone call we've been waiting years for!

My day started off bright and early. I had an 8:00am doctors appointment in Portland so I had to leave the house at 6:00.  After the two hour drive (dang traffic), I got my blood taken and turned around for the drive home. I thought the 9 days after our transfer took forever, somehow, the 8 hour wait seemed even longer. My dear hubby was still insisting on me staying home and taking it easy, so there I was, on the couch all day surfing through daytime tv (ugh!).  I tried to distract myself with talking to my mom via instant messenger, playing games on the iPad and watching the second season of Private Practice. The later it got, the more the anxiety built up.  By 3:30, I was convinced that they hadn't called yet because they were calling everyone with the good news first. Then my phone rang, at 3:38! Being as I get horrible service in my house (one of the very few drawbacks of living where we do), I jumped up and headed out to our deck.  When Stephanie, the great patient coordinator at Oregon Reproductive Medicine, told me she had "very good news" for me I couldn't believe it! Tears instantly started to flow from my eyes.  My hcg levels were at 178.5 which she said was very good and nice and high. I go back on Monday for a confirmation test and to schedule our first ultra sound!

Whe she told me my hcg level, it really meant nothing to me, all I knew was she said it was positive and I was pregnant!  After researching hcg levels, I found that "high" for a singleton birth is 119!  Could it be true? Are we really going to be blessed with twins?!?! We will have to wait and see. But as of right now, all I know is we are ecstatic! It's been a long road that has strengthened the bond between us and we can't wait to bring our little bundle(s) of joy to the world!

In Less Than 24 Hours.....

Here we are, 8 days after the transfer of our beautiful little embryos.  After being on bed rest for three days after the transfer (1 doctor enforced and 2 hubby enforced), I planned to venture out to get my nails done on Saturday.  (Warning, this is when this may get a little too graphic for some people).  Early Saturday morning I was awakened with a terrible burning/cramping feeling like nothing I had ever imagined. Luckily it only lasted about 5 minutes and was gone. So, I ventured out and got my nails done. I was a good girl and came home and went back to taking it easy.  Sunday morning rolled around and the same burning/cramping happened.  I was really starting to freak out at this point wondering what in the world was going on. Sunday afternoon was date day with my hubby! We had a great day and I was starting to feel really good and very positive. Late that afternoon I started cramping again. This time though it was similar to period cramping. NOT what I was expecting or wanting to experience that's for sure. But again, the cramps only lasted a few minutes. When I got home I instantly started searching the web for cramping related to IVF cycles.  From what I could tell, it seemed to be normal.

Monday night was a rough one, as I was getting ready for bed that night, much to my horror I was spotting. I thought for sure our journey was over (well this round at least). I woke up exhausted Tuesday morning, but luckily with no more spotting. The cramping on the other hand continued off and on. My dear husband begged me to please just take it easy and rest for the next two days before our blood test. I agreed to do so. I figured it's better to be safe than sorry. Fingers (and toes & eyes lol) are crossed for a positive outcome tomorrow. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!

The wait....

The dreaded wait between implantation and our first blood test after our IVF cycle could quite possibly turn me into a crazy person!  Tuesday when we arrived for our embryo transfer, I jokingly said to my husband, "I wonder if we'll get to see what our embryos look like?". Imagine my surprise when I was wheeled into the procedure room and up on the monitor above me, there they were! Two beautiful embryos!  When my doctor walked in he exclaimed how beautiful they were as well!  We had started with 27 eggs, 18 were mature enough to move forward with, 11 fertilized after day 1 and by day 5 we had five that had continued to grow.  And there they were, two of the five!  It was so overwhelming to realize after all the years of sadness, longing and tears, that we were one step closer to having our greatest wish and biggest desire come true.

Here I am, three days later, still a couch potato (per the request of my incredible husband), trying to not make myself completely crazy.  I simply cannot wait for the next six days to be over. At the same time, it terrifies me to get that phone call next Thursday. One phone call will either fill my heart or crush it.  However, if there's any truth in the power of prayer, positive thinking and visualizing something to come true, this child (or children) is going to happen. The support I have received from family and friends has been amazing!  My husband has been incredible, we lay on the couch and he rubs my belly at night. We wake up in the morning and he rubs my belly and talks to it!  He's going to be such an amazing father.

So how do I keep myself occupied for the next six days??? Last week I had written about Pinterest and my addiction to it. After that post I did manage to try a few more recipes from it. Both were ridiculously easy and a huge hit with my hubby. The first was honey beer bread and the second was a creamy chicken stuffed in croissant dough!  If you haven't tried any of the things you've pinned yet, don't wait any longer! I am personally looking forward to my husband letting me get up and cook again!

Love, Life & Pinterest

As my hubby and I have been going through our fertility treatments, I've been trying to find other things to distract my mind with.  Usually, distracting me isn't too hard of a task to accomplish.  Pinterest has become the most addicting form of distraction.  For a few weeks, I challenged myself to not just "pin" but to start doing the things I had pinned.  A few recipes later, I dropped the ball and didn't continue with the follow through.  Until now!  Yup, that's right, I'm publicly putting it out there and now I'll try to log my adventures in Pinterest on here in addition to writing about life and fertility.

Before diving into what's for dinner tonight, what I used to shave my legs this morning and what craft I'm going to try to tackle first, how about a fertility roller coaster update!  We are less than a week away from our egg retrieval, which in turn means we are about 10 days away from embryo transfer!  Three weeks into my injections, I think I'm handling the meds better than I had expected to.  I thought I was going to turn into this crazed lunatic that cried at the drop of a hat.  With the exception of waking up before 5:00am daily, it really hasn't been that bad ::knock on wood::.  The first week or so was a little rough when I started experiencing every possible side effect, but I think I've adapted well.  I found myself incredibly giddy and ridiculously hopeful yesterday as I drove home from Portland after one of my appointments.  I truly and honestly believe that our time has come and this dream is about to become a reality.  Sure my stomach looks like a pin cushion, but each poke gets us one step closer to holding our little angel that I know is coming to us.

Back to the subject of shaving my legs. Random, yes I know! A few nights ago while skimming through Pinterest, I saw a post about shaving with hair conditioner instead of soap or shaving cream.  I've always been too cheap for shaving cream anyways, but figured I'd do a side by side comparison with soap on one leg and conditioner on the other.  I have to admit, I was skeptical with the conditioner because it doesn't lather up like soap does.  Well, I have to tell you, I might be running to Costco to buy a large bottle of conditioner to use from here on out! Even with my dull razor (yes, it's time for a new one), the conditioner side is a closer shave and left zero razor burn. 

It has been months since I've had even a sip of an alcoholic beverage and with all the gorgeous weather we've been having I've been dying for an ice cold Hefeweizen.  But after all we have gone through with fertility medications, I'm not about to risk anything for one beer.  Enter the recipe that will be hitting my oven when I'm done with this post.  Honey Beer Bread!  The last recipe I got off of Pinterest for oven baked fried chicken, was an epic fail (unless you like soggy coating on your chicken). So keep your fingers crossed that this one turns out a little better!

Hope everyone is enjoying the last week of August.  I know I am definitely looking forward to what September is going to bring us!  Cheers!