Monday, May 20, 2013

Overwhelming Joy


May 8, 2013 is the day my life changed for the better.  After 12 years of knowing that Jake was the man I was going to spend forever with and the man I was meant to raise a family with, our dreams came true.  There I was, 38 weeks pregnant with my twins.  After having a pretty uneventful and smooth pregnancy, we were checking into the hospital at 9:30 that morning for a scheduled C-section at noon.  My dad and step mom had driven up a few days earlier and my mom flown up from CA to be there with us.  The anxiety and anticipation was killing all of us in the pre-op birthing suite.  As the clock ticked away, it got closer and closer to noon.  At about 11:45, our delivery nurse Whitney came in to inform us that there was another twin mama and one of her babies was in jeopardy so they had to take her in for an emergency c section before us.  We settled back in and let the anxiety start to build again.  At this point we were under the impression that we would be going in around 3:00.  2:55 rolled around and we were again being bumped for yet another emergency C-section.  Now those of you that know me well, know that patience is not one of my strong suits.  I had to just remind myself that I had waited 12 years, what was another couple of hours.  After all, my babies were full term, healthy and strong.  At that moment, what was most important were those other babies that were in jeopardy and the safety of them and their moms.

Shortly after 5:00pm, Whitney came in to let us know it was "Go Time"!  That is when the anxiety really set in!  After all these years and 38 weeks of never really believing it was actually not a dream, we were about to meet our two miracle babies!  I walked down the hall and entered the OR.  Dr. Bay, my incredible anesthesiologist, started my spinal anesthesia.  They laid me back on the table and then let Jake into the room.  I turned to look my amazing husband in the eyes.  I could see the fear and joy in his eyes as he stroked my hand with his.  After what seemed like just minutes of being in the operating room, I heard the sound I will never forget.  It was the first cry from my baby girl. At that moment, I turned and looked deep into my husbands eyes and between the sound of my little girl crying and the love in my husbands eyes, the tears started to flow from mine.  A few short seconds later, there was a nurse, holding my gorgeous little girl with a full head of dark hair.  Then just a minute and a half later I heard the second sound I'll never forget, the first cry of my baby boy! There he was, completely opposite of his sister, but just as beautiful!  They laid the two of them on my chest and the joy that I felt really cannot even be put into words! I laid there with two perfect, healthy babies on my chest and the man of my dreams holding my hand!  Peyton was delivered at 6:10pm and Lukas at 6:12.  My tiny little girl with a full head of hair weighed 5lbs 10oz and my stocky little man weighed 7lbs 5oz.

That night we had a few visitors in the recovery room.  My mom, my dad, Jake's grandma and my "Sister" as the nurses referred to her (Nicole).  After regaining the mobility in my legs, we were moved up to our room.  Jake went with my parents to get some dinner and Nicole came up with my "nieces" to meet the twins.  Between the family getting back from dinner and Nicole's family heading home, I had some one on one (I guess more like one on two) time with them.  As they laid there on my chest, I couldn't look away from them.  There they finally were, my dreams come true times two!

The next three days we stayed in the hospital and enjoyed visiting with my family from CA on Thursday morning before they had to head home and my friend Shannon came to take some photos of them.  The days that followed their "Birth Day" were filled with a lot of emotion for the both of us.  Several times I found my eyes welling up with tears of joy.  I could sit there and stare at them both for hours.  I find myself wondering what I did so right in life to be granted this amazing gift. 

I always knew Jake was going to make a great dad, but seeing him with these two is like nothing I ever could have ever imagined.  He gazes at them with so much love and pride.  He is tender and sweet and never hesitates to make a bottle or change a diaper.  We've been so lucky to have him home with us and honestly, I'm not quite sure how I'll handle him having to go back to work on Wednesday.  I don't worry so much about being able to handle the twins on my own, but more of just missing him while he's gone all day.  I've become very selfish of our time with him.  I do know though that in order for me to stay home and raise our babies, he has to work his butt off to provide for us.

As we all know, I've always dreamed of becoming a mom.  Now that I have had these two incredibly adorable and perfect babies home for 9 days, I never could have imagined the absolute joy they would bring to my life.  I can't believe they are already 12 days old today.  Needless to say, this blog will most likely turn into a journal of my life raising twins and all the trials and tribulations that will come along with not only being a first time parent, but a first time parent of twins!

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