There really is nothing like the bond between me and my mom. From as far back as I can remember, she has always been there for me. She missed one, maybe two of my games from the time I started playing sports in the fifth grade all the way through volleyball season of my senior year of high school. We traveled almost every weekend for club volleyball, weekend long softball or basketball tournaments. She never complained about giving up her weekends to support me. She sat in gyms across Northern California on perfect 80 degree days and bleachers on scorching hot 100 degree days. All to be there for me. She managed to do all this while working full time. We didn't have the luxury of her being a stay at home mom, but you never would have known that with her constant involvement.
Over the years, one of the things I have always worried about most was disappointing her. I've always wanted to make sure she was proud of me. The few (at least I hope it was only a few) times I know I've let her down, are burned into my brain and are lessons in life that I had to learn the hard way. There was the epic party I threw my junior year of high school and partying with the Navy boys in Cabo until 4am. The look in her eyes after those events was all I needed to not go there again.
When it came time to decide on a college, I turned down a volleyball scholarship to a school in Colorado and an acceptance letter from Portland State and decided on the small Cal State Monterey Bay campus because it was a short 2 hour drive home to see her on weekends. At a time that most kids were wanting to move as far away as possible, I wasn't ready to move that far from her. As life moved forward and I moved around the state, I was always within three hours from her. When I moved to Oregon at 25 years old, I never imagined living 10 hours away would be so difficult. After living here for 7 years and only seeing her a handful of times every year, it gets harder and harder to say goodbye every time. Whether I'm leaving her house in CA or she's leaving here, I find myself in tears before the front door is even opened.
Now as I become a mother myself, all I can hope for is that I will be half the mom to my twins as she was to me and my brother. Lord knows I have the best possible role model and support system by my side. Knowing that my children will grow up with her as their grandma gives me a sense of comfort and relief.
With all of the trials and tribulations in life, it's so reassuring to
know that there will always be that one person I can turn to, be 100%
honest and open with and know that she is never going to judge me or put
me down for the decisions that I have made. While she may not always agree with the choices I make, she supports me unconditionally. I love you mom! Thank you for being my best friend, my #1 fan and the greatest mom anyone could ever hope for!
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