Let me just start by saying, domestic diva I am not! Cleaning has never been one of my strong suits, I'm not great with crafts (though I try) and I have about 5 no fail recipes that I rotate through. I think I have some sort of mental block when it comes to starting laundry and seeing it through to putting it away. For some reason the dishes get put away but the silverware sits in it's little basket a couple hours longer and I have a bag full of wine corks sitting in the cupboard that I have the best of intentions on doing "something" with.
Now that I've made that clear, I can say that "napping when they nap" is just not an option for me. Maybe it's the guilt of my husband working 50 hours a week and not wanting him to feel like he has to cook or fold laundry when he gets home or maybe it's the fact that I feel like it's my duty as a stay at home wife and mom to make sure those things are done as much as possible. I'm not saying that I have dinner on the table every night waiting for him, after all, there are definitely nights where the twins want me to do nothing but hold them. But what I am saying is, when I get an hour or two to myself, the last thing on my mind is sleeping. The first thought is usually, oh I better go to the bathroom right now while I have a chance to do so without holding a newborn. Second is usually, oh I guess I should probably eat something or at least get some water to drink. Sure a nap sounds nice but when the sun is shining and there's things that need to be done (or a blog that needs to be written LOL), I can't bring myself to do it.
We have been parents for four weeks now and I'm still trying to figure out how in the world I'm going to carry two babies once Peyton catches up to her brother in size. Then there's the car seats and all I can think is boy, who needs the gym and dumb bells. All I need to do is strap Lukas into his seat and do curls with him. We've had good nights where we get six hours of sleep (in two three hour stretches) and there's been nights where one of us gets three if we are lucky. Those three hour nights are tough, but I wouldn't trade them for anything in this world. When I start to get frustrated because one is crying and I have fed, burped, rocked and changed diapers and I don't know what else to do, all I have to do is remember how long we have waited and everything we went through to get this far and it makes those sleepless, fussy nights all worth it.
It's usually around 2:30 in the morning when both of them are crying that my husband looks at me and says, "Oh let's put in two" referring to the day we did our embryo transfer and the doctor asking if we wanted to transfer one or two. That day our doctor said they had two beautiful embryos picked out and asked if we wanted to transfer one or two. Jake looked at me and said "One?" I looked at him and the only thing going through my mind was, "What if we only do one and it doesn't take? I would constantly wonder if we had transferred two if at least one of them would have taken. And if they both take, then hey that's okay I can handle twins." So I looked back at him and said, "Two." The doctor then agreed that he thought two was a good idea. Jake smiled at me and said, "Ok, two it is." He likes to jokingly give me crap about that now when we are both laying there sleep deprived. But he will also be the first one to tell you that he can't imagine life without the both of them now.
At this point, they are four weeks old and all I can think is how blessed I am with these two precious and perfect babies. Sure the shoulder and back of my shirt are covered in spit up right now (no joke), but there's nowhere else I'd rather be. Okay, that's not true, I'd rather be on the beach in Mexico with spit up on my shirt, but my recliner in Oregon will have to do for the time being!
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