Adapting to the "Stay At Home Mom" Role

As a warm summer breeze comes through the living room window, I can't help to feel so incredibly blessed.  I not only have one, but two, absolutely gorgeous babies napping peacefully in front of me.  After waiting almost thirteen years for our prayers to be answered, I still have moments where I can't believe I'm actually a mom to twins.  About five years ago I had a dream that I was walking through town holding hands with boy/girl twins.  At the time, I thought I'd be lucky if even half of that dream came true!  What are the chances that we'd not only have twins, but that we would be blessed with one of each!!

Sure I have my moments where I think "What in the hell were we thinking having two?", but that usually only happens at 3:00am when they are both screaming and won't go back to sleep or when they both have an evening meltdown about 15 minutes before their daddy should be home from work.  However, the pure joy that they bring me far outweighs the overwhelming stress of those meltdowns.

Growing up in California, I never imagined being able to be a "Stay at Home Mom."  My mom worked full time and still found enough hours in the day to cook, clean and make it to every volleyball, basketball and softball game.  I watched her do it, so I figured when the time came, that's what I would do.  I have got to tell you, I have a new found respect for moms that work forty hours a week and still find the time to be a full time mom as well! Every time I find myself wanting to bitch about not getting an extra load of laundry done, I just remind myself that I'm lucky I was able to wash a load in the middle of the day and not at 11:00 at night.

I've always been a people person and for the first six years of living in Oregon, I worked as a barista so I was constantly around people.  I think that is what has been the hardest thing for me to adapt to now as a mom.  My priorities are different.  I used to be able to plan on going to lunch with my girlfriends at noon and I knew if I started to get ready at eleven, I could still make the twenty minute drive into town with no problem.  Now, on the rare, maybe once a week occasion where I drag the two car seats and stroller into town to enjoy some adult time, I have to start getting ready to go two hours earlier.  And that's IF I was able to get a shower before my husband left for work.  I've had to miss graduation parties because one of the babies hadn't pooped for days and had a clogged tear duct, I've pretty much been late to every appointment (I used to always be at least ten minutes early) and I forget what it feels like to sleep for eight uninterrupted hours. And while I could sit here and think about all the things I'm missing, I find myself so incredibly at peace with this new life and wouldn't change it for the world!!