I've never been one to just give up on the things I want most in life. When I didn't make the softball team my junior year of high school, I still played city league. When I was the shortest middle blocker on the volleyball court in our league, I pushed myself harder. So it was no surprise that I wasn't going to give up on my dream to become a mom.
A few days after my last post, I got another call from our doctors office. He had come to the conclusion that it was time to move forward with IVF. He said we could continue trying IUI, but at this point (five failed IUI cycles) he strongly recommended we move forward. There wasn't much for my hubby and I to discuss, we both know this is something we long for and want more than anything.
Fast forward two and a half months to today. At this point we have paid our deposit, filled out all the paperwork, done the first of two mandatory orientations and picked up a ridiculous amount of inject-able and oral medications. We are moving forward!
As I look to the people in my life, I'm reminded on a daily basis of how incredibly lucky I am. Without the financial help of my family and the love and support of family and friends, this would be a long and terrifying journey that no couple should ever have to face alone. As with many other things in our lives, this has only brought Jake and I that much closer. It seems every time we are faced with adversity that could tear us apart, it does the exact opposite and strengthens our love, our bond and our friendship. We do not cast blame on one another, we talk about how exciting our future will be and remain positive.
I'd be lying if I said I'm not terrified as I sit here and look at the massive pile of prescriptions on our counter. I cannot let that fear consume me though. I remain realistically hopeful and focus in the mean time on improving myself and my relationship. Over the next month and a half, I will give myself multiple injections on a daily basis, have a rigid calendar of oral medications to take and in a month, will have to step away from the gym (doctors orders). I'm not naive and know this will not be easy what-so-ever. I'm ready for this next chapter and ready to tackle anything thrown my way!
